literature

Robotizer 2

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Literature Text

“Okay, Bobby, that’s enough toast.”

“Please, Mistress!  I’m begging you, just one more...”

“No.  You’re cut off.  That’s final.”  Holly pulled the plug out of the wall, which made Bobby the talking toaster whine even louder.  Fortunately, he also had an off switch, and toggling it turned off both his display and his voice.

Holly breathed a deep sigh of relief, and rubbed her tortured ears.  As a toaster, Bobby had an awfully shrill voice.  “This joke has gone on way too long.”  She carried the toaster to the Robotizer, set it on top, then stared at the display in confusion.  There was a giant red warning covering the bulk of the screen.  

UNWILLING SUBJECT DETECTED.

Holly jabbed the toaster’s mute button violently.  “What the hell, Bobby?  Let me change you back.”

“No!  I want to make toast!”

“But you’re a human!  Not a toaster.”

“Toast!”

“C’mon Bobby.  Come back to me.  This isn’t you.”

“TOAST!”

Holly poked the mute button again.  “Damn it.  I don’t know how to fix this.  But maybe... that Charlie he kept mentioning does.”

Checking Bobby’s phone didn’t work, as it had been locked.  Holly tried the Tehchincon website, but it didn’t have a list of employees.  It did have a prominent careers page, however.  Holly was impressed then briefly concerned by the number of openings in the testing department.

Holly turned back to the toaster, Bobby’s phone in hand.  She carried the toaster back into the kitchen, setting a fresh loaf of bread in front of it.  She plugged it back in, then poked the mute button again.

“TOAST!”

Holly sighed.  More of a whine, really.  “Tell me your pass-code for your phone.  I want to talk to Charlie.”

“Give me some bread first.”

Holly did so, and tried her best to ignore the toaster’s orgasmic moans while it prepared the most perfect pair of golden-brown slices of toast yet.  “You are a very good toaster.”

The toaster purred with the praise.

“Passcode.”

“Toast!”

Holly held two slices of bread above the toaster.  “Passcode, then toast.”

“Toast!”

“Be a good little toaster and tell me, then I’ll give you the rest of the loaf.”

The reply was immediate.  “54321.  TOAST!”

“Seriously?”  But the code worked, and Holly held up her end of the bargain, toasting her way through the rest of the bread.

Then she muted the toaster, and made the call.

Charlie’s greeting was curt.  “What do you want, Bobby.  Isn’t the doll enough?”

“Uh, hi, this isn’t Bobby.  It’s his friend, Holly... um, I mean Andy.”

“Oh!  The one he was going to...  You have a female voice.  Did the bastard leave you stuck in the doll body?”

“Um...  It’s more complicated than that.  Can you come over and help?”

“Why can’t Bobby help?  You don’t trust him?”

“He’s... stuck.  I’m having trouble getting him un-stuck.”

Holly could hear the grin on the other end.  “You got him back?  Awesome.  I’ll be there in five.”

Holly quickly tidied up the worst of the mess in Bobby’s living room.  She spent the rest of the time futilely searching through his closet for something that didn’t hang off her like a tent or otherwise look ridiculous.  When she heard the knock at the door, Holly sighed.  She put her old shirt back on, smoothed out the worst of the wrinkles, then opened the door.

Charlie looked familiar enough, as Holly had been wearing a dollified version of Charlie’s body for the past half day, and spent enough time in front of the mirror to be used to what she was seeing.  The only difference was that Charlie proper had more freckles, and had her hair in a loose ponytail.

“H.. hi, Charlie.  I’m Holly.”

“You said that once before.  Not Andy?  How high did Bobby set the satisfaction slider?”

“He didn’t, not at first.  Then we played more cards, and I ended up at three... and later, um, kind of higher.”

Charlie laughed like a crowing rooster.  “Ten packs a wallop.  Did you do anything you regret?”

Holly looked away.  “Maybe.  Though I don’t regret it, really.  I just...  He was cheating at cards.  I wasn’t trying to win, but...”

“Bastard.  What did you do?”

Holly led Charlie into the kitchen, and pointed at the toaster.  She tapped the mute button.

“Would you like some toast?” sang cheerfully from its voicebox.

“You turned him into a toaster?”  Charlie broke down into giggles.

“It’s not funny!” declared Holly.  “He won’t let me change him back!”

“It’s hilarious!  He wanted to trap me as a fucktoy, and got pissed that I wouldn’t let him.  Now you’re his toy... and he’s a toaster!”

“I’m not a toy.  I’m not even trapped, I just...”  Holly looked away.

Charlie raised an eyebrow.  “What?”

“I really...” Holly mumbled the rest.

Charlie tugged her out of the kitchen, and closed the door behind them.  “You can tell me.”

“I really like this body.  I don’t want to change back to boring old Andy.”

“May I check something?” asked Charlie, leading Holly to the robotizer.  Holly nodded, and let her upper torso be placed on the device.

Charlie tapped the interface, and her eyebrows lifted.  “You’re only at two?  You’re acting like you’re at least a five.”

“I wanted to be myself, but... not quite all the way after...”  Holly looked over at the couch where a hastily-tossed sheet was covering certain stains, and would have blushed if her body could do that.

“The difference between two and zero is pretty small.  Let me show you.”

“Wait!” protested Holly, but it was too late.  She felt the familiar flicker of existence as the Robotizer erased and rebuilt her.  She frowned.  “Did you do anything?  I don’t feel different.”

Charlie lifted Holly’s torso around so she could see the display.  “Zero?  I... I’m me?  But I still feel like Holly.”

“That’s what I was trying to tell you.”

Charlie reassembled Holly’s body while the other woman let that sink in.  “I’m... but I’ve been a guy all my life.  How can I?  How can this feel right?”

“Some people never figure it out.  Lucky for us in the testing department, we get to try out new things pretty regularly.”

“So what do you want to be?” asked Holly.

Charlie blushed, and looked away.

“Oh come on, it can’t be worse than suddenly discovering you want to be the opposite...”  Holly’s eyes widened as she realized where Charlie was looking.  “You too?”

Charlie’s brash facade was gone as she stared down at Andy’s doll-body.  “I like being a girl, too.  But if you don’t, uh... want this body, I could put it to good use.”

“That’s what I was going to ask!” exclaimed Holly with a grin.  “Sure.  Go crazy.”

The Robotizer made short work of Charlie’s limbs, and soon she was reduced to a bust sitting on top of the Robotizer platform.  She shivered slightly as she watched Holly study her.  “What?”

“I’m just...  We only just met.  Why are you trusting me?  You’d never trust Bobby to do this.”

Charlie grinned at a thought.  “You have an honest face.”

“Your face.”

Charlie grinned.  “Who on earth would I trust more?  Do it.”

Charlie vanished, then reappeared as a lifeless doll’s bust.  Holly set it aside, then put Andy’s torso back onto the platform.  She studied it for a few moments, wondering what it would be like for her old face to have someone else behind it.  “Only one way to find out,” she murmured, and tapped the interface.

Charlie blinked, and tried out her new voice.  “Oh!  I don’t sound as different as I thought.”

“Yeah, I don’t sound like you really, either.  I wonder why?”

Charlie shrugged.  “No clue.  Can I get some limbs here?  I don’t like being this helpless.”

Holly nodded, and quickly found the right arms among the various sets in the room.  Soon Charlie was reassembling herself with the rest of Andy’s body.  She didn’t get dressed, and instead darted for the bathroom to see herself in the mirror.  Holly followed, grinning.  “What do you think?”

Charlie turned this way and that.  “Not bad.  A bit on the slim side, but... that makes it feel more homey.  I could work with this.  Can I borrow your shirt?”

“Can I borrow your dress in return?” asked Holly as she unbuttoned the shirt.  “This thing does not look good on me, but everything else here is worse.”

“Sure,” said Charlie absently, still staring at her reflection.  When she emerged, Holly was swishing her dress about her legs, grinning like mad.

Charlie put on Andy’s old pants, and frowned.  “None of this stuff feels as nice as female clothes.”

“You’re telling me, sister!  Or should that be, brother?”  Holly giggled.  “Should we bump up your satisfaction a bit so you think you’re a guy?”

Charlie bit her lip.  “How high?  I don’t want to turn into a frenzied fuck-doll.”

Holly grinned.  “Aw, why not?  Despite some lingering regrets, it really was fun.  It’d be even more fun with someone willing and able to keep up.”

“Are you sure you didn’t get stuck at five?” asked Charlie.  “You sound like you’re slipping back into doll mode.”

Holly looked down at the Robotizer, running a finger along the edge of it.  “I’m me.  I think.  Just... not quite sure who that is, yet.  So it’s kind of like everything is possible.  Do I want to be a giggly bimbo?  Do I want to be a serious woman... actually, scratch that.  Maybe during the day, but at night...”

Charlie laughed.  “You would go back?  I liked being the robot, but I only tried three as a doll.  It’s so antithetical to everything I thought I was.”

“Dolly wants to play!” sing-songed Holly, getting a sharp look then a grin from Charlie.  “Dolly is... simple.  Easy.  She wants what she wants and it’s not hard to get it.  And looking at you right now, Dolly wants to play.  Even if she is just a memory of Dolly.”

Holly detached herself at the waist then arm-hopped onto the Robotizer platform.  “Do me first.”

Charlie looked her in the eye.  “You’re crazier than I am.  Want to go for broke?”

Holly just nodded.  Her body flickered away, then returned.  She frowned, looking down at herself.  “I’m...  Oh my God.  I’m real?”

Charlie nodded, reassembling Holly’s body as she stared in wonder, reverting plastic to flesh.

When Holly was whole, she touched where her seams had been, rubbing her fingers over the gaps as if to assure herself they were truly gone.  “Oh...  Oh this is so...”  Impulsively, she hugged Charlie.  “Thank you.”

“But I did the opposite of what you asked,” protested Charlie.  She didn’t struggle out of the hug, though, and returned it.

“I didn’t know I could become a real woman.  I thought the copied parts would stay doll parts.”

Charlie giggled.  “Want to know a secret?  Half of those parts are Charlie originals.  I went home with the copies.  Didn’t do me any harm.  The molecular duplicator is absurdly comprehensive.”

Holly squeaked.  “Don’t you want them back?  Oh, but now that they’re part of me, that’s not possible, is it?”

“Oh, it was impossible the moment I went back to being human.  And it’s not as if they were all original parts to start with.  I got turned into just a head a few years back, and they had to regrow my body.”

“Really?” asked Holly, wide-eyed.  “What happened to the rest of your body?”

“We were experimenting with a liquefying device.  Things got a little out of hand, and after an incident involving a keg of beer, my body was unrecoverable.”

“Was that the weirdest thing you’ve ever been?”

Charlie shook his head, and patted the couch beside him.  Holly sat down beside her old body, barely even registering how odd that idea was.  “Oh, the stories I could tell.”

“Bobby said he almost got stuck as a purse, once.”

Charlie laughed.  “He did, did he?  Yeah, the wardrobe is pretty freaky.  Truth be told, we could have changed him back any time, but he hadn’t told anyone how long he wanted to be a thing.  He can be a little annoying, so we gave him to Tina to use for couple days, and a couple days turned into a week.  She’s our receptionist, doesn’t like getting into the machines... but she does like playing with the results.  I think she’s collected at least half of our ‘retirees’, and has caused more retirements than anyone in the lab.”

Holly looked shocked.  “What do you mean?”

“She’s really good at persuading people not to change back.  It took us two days to convince Bobby to be human, if she’d had him another few days I don’t think we could have done it.”

“And you just let her do this to people?”

“Let?  Honey, she has volunteers.  Bobby didn’t believe me when I told him she could make even a purse seem like a blessing.”  Charlie frowned.  “You know, I don’t think he ever paid up on that bet.”  She called out toward the kitchen, “Hey Bobby, you still owe me fifty over the purse thing.  Pay up.”

“TOAST!” was the distant reply.

Charlie giggled.  “I think I’m paid in full.”

“But I didn’t want to make him a toaster forever,” fretted Holly.

Charlie sighed, and got up to fetch the toaster.  He set it on the Robotizer then stared at the display.  “What the hell did you do?  The S setting is supposed to be capped at ten.  How on earth did you get him to twenty-three?”

“Direct entry,” said Holly.  “If you tap the number, you can type in a new one.  It goes back to 10, but it steps back one at a time.  So if you hit 25, then hit ‘Activate’ really quickly...”

“How on earth did we miss that?” asked Charlie.  “Are you sure you don’t want a job in the lab?  You’ve got a knack for this.”

“I was bitter about the cheating, and kept poking at it until something worked.”

“Exactly!  C’mon, you’d be a great addition to the team.  We have an opening...”  Charlie picked up the toaster and waggled it at Holly.

“He’s really stuck?” she asked worriedly.

“Oh, I wasn’t meaning his job.  Do you want him to be stuck?  He doesn’t want to change back, and we’re only contractually obliged to try for three days.  Given that it took you a few hours to get him this wedged, that might be enough time.  How much toast did you run through him?”

“TOAST!  Please toast?”

Holly sighed.  “A couple loaves.  Each run sounded like heaven on earth.”

“I got more action tonight than in... well, ever.” said the toaster.  “I’m a bread-sexual now.  Please toast?”

Holly stabbed the mute button.  “What have I done?”

Charlie laughed.  “Made the poor boy really, really happy.  Best part of the job, to be honest.  The retirement parties are awesome, because they’re always so deliriously happy.  Even the ones in forms that can’t speak.  We have this cool toy that lets you hear the surface thoughts of whoever or whatever you touch it to, so we always know.  I had no idea that Bobby wanted to be a toaster.  He was always over-eager to serve...”

“But what about his place?  His stuff?  His life?”

Charlie shrugged.  “I’ll check the records, but ‘a rental’, ‘mostly junk’ and ‘he didn’t have one’ are the usual answers.”

Holly bit her lip, then tapped the toaster’s mute button.  “If you stay like this, can I have your place?  Mine’s a dump compared to this.  Literally, the building has actually been condemned.”

“If you use me for your bread toasting needs.”

“And your job?”

“No!  I’M the toaster.  No other toasters allowed.”

Holly giggled at that.  “No, I don’t want that job.”

“Why not?  It’s great!  TOAST!”

“She means your job at Technicon, doofus,” said Charlie.

“Oh, that.  Sure.  Toast!”

Holly pressed the mute button again.  “Gods.  I can’t believe this is happening.  I get to be a cute... wait.  Won’t that be weird at work, being your twin?”

Charlie shrugged.  “We don’t look much like twins right now.  I’ll accept the new job in this body, then swap back.  Paperwork will be easier that way.  Have you got any family or friends in town that’ll make this even more confusing?”

Holly shook her head.  “My folks are all back east.  I call them every month or so, and try to get out there for Christmas.  Haven’t had the money to do that the past while.”

“Technicon pays well.  You’ll be able to go.  I can come with, help explain...”

Holly’s eyes lit up.  “Orrr... you can go as me, and I can go as you.”

“That sounds potentially embarrassing for everyone,” mused Charlie.  Then he started to grin. “I’m in!”

“Sweet!  So... are we really going to leave Bobby as a toaster?”

Charlie scooped up the inert metal box.  “We’ll take him in and see what the lab boys can do.  But you’ve probably scored a new apartment and a new toaster.  One that will be very eager to please, and happy to reassure you that it loves what it has become.”

Holly patted the toaster and smiled.  “Okay.  Let’s go do this!”

Charlie stopped her at the door.  “Where are you going? It’s Sunday.”

“Oh!  Right.  I was so excited.  Um...  Shopping?”

Charlie laughed.  “Give me a minute to change back, and we can both try on your new wardrobe.  You’ll be needing more than just a dress.”

Holly’s grin nearly divided her head in two.  “Awesome.”
Time to bring in another character, because I seem to have misplaced one...

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RuudschMaHinda's avatar
TOAST!
I literally laughed a lot :D
Thank you!