Trust Machines - Monster Under the Bed

Trust Machines - Monster Under the Bed

“I really think this is going too far for a joke, Jonah.”

“Just boost me up to my window.  I left it open a crack.”

The dark-haired girl pushed her glasses back up the bridge of her nose, and hefted the fuzzy thing that had just spoken.  Once it was near the window in question, furry tentacles reached out and grabbed hold of window and frame.  The window slid open, and the dark sphere of its body lifted up and slid through.

“Thanks for the Venn and the boost, Rumi,” called the creature as it waved from the window.

“You’re welcome.  I think.”  Rumi shook her head.  “I don’t know how I let you talk me into this.”

“Because you love tentacles.”  One of said furry tentacles dangled from the windowsill to brush against Rumi’s cheek.

Rumi smiled, and kissed the tentacle on the tip.  “Don’t scare your sister too badly.”

Jonah chuckled evilly.  “After what she’s put me through?”

Rumi shook her head, and hurried away from Jonah’s house so she wouldn’t be spotted.  The window slid silently closed behind her.

Jonah hopped down to the floor, then waited to make sure nobody had noticed him.  He was supposedly sleeping over at a friend’s house this weekend, so noise from his room might call attention.  A minute later a small head topped by a mass of golden curls peeked into the room.  “Jonah?  Was that you?”

Jonah held perfectly still in the pile of discarded clothes under his window.  His stepmother had been at him to clean up his room for some time, but today the mess served as useful camouflage.  “Go away, Lillian. Nobody’s here,” he muttered softly.

Lillian looked around once more, shrugged, and bounced back out of the room.  Jonah slunk stealthily to his door, and peeked into the hallway.  He could hear her cheerfully chattering with her mother in the kitchen, so the coast was clear.  He darted as quickly as his tentacles would carry him across the hallway and into Lillian’s room.

“Did you hear something?” asked Lillian from down the hallway.  Jonah didn’t listen for a reply, he busied himself in burrowing under Lillian’s bed instead.

Lillian returned to her room shortly after he was settled.  Several of her plush toys weren’t where she’d left them, tumbled over in Jonah’s haste.  Jonah fretted that his cover had already been blown, but Lillian just set them back in their chairs and sternly told them to behave themselves.  

Lillian spent the next hour on an elaborate tea party among a half dozen of her favourite toys.  Jonah tried to ignore the pointless prattle.  Given the lack of other distractions, he soon found himself caught up in the drama that played out around that little table.  Apparently Mr and Mrs Teddy were the parents, Brownie the horse was a rebellious older child, and Goldie the doll was his younger sister.  Kitty and purple kitty were their pets, though why that rated them a spot at the table was unclear.

What was clear was that Lillian had heard an awful lot of his more heated discussions with his parents.  Brownie’s dialogue was painfully familiar, especially the way he said “you’re not my real mother, Kate” to Mrs. Teddy whenever she tried to get him to do anything.

Dinnertime came and went, and Jonah was glad of Rumi’s decision to make his monster shape only half-alive.  He didn’t need to eat or breathe, so there were no pangs of hunger or regrettable smells.  It got boring under the bed pretty quickly without Lillian in the room, and he dozed off.

When Lillian came to bed, and her mother started to sing a lullaby, Jonah knew he had to be alert.  As always, Lillian wanted to be sure there were no monsters under the bed.  As always, her mother gave a perfunctory glance under the bed, and saw nothing out of place.

“Are you really sure?” asked Lillian, just as Jonah had started to relax.  He tensed his tentacles, making the bed creak slightly.  It couldn’t be helped, he had to stay out of sight or the game would be up before it started.  Kate looked under the the bed one more time, reassured Lillian, and left.

Jonah breathed a sigh of relief and slid back to the floor.  The bed creaked again, and Lillian squeaked with alarm.  She knew better than to call out, though.  Her parents had become very impatient about her imaginary monsters.  Instead she softly sung herself a song about a very brave prince, who also happened to be a frog.

Jonah waited until she had finished before nudging the bedsprings again, making Lillian squeak and sing once more.  By the fourth time through the cycle, Lilian’s voice had grown very very small and very very timid.

“Is... is something there?”

Jonah couldn’t help it.  He chuckled.  Evilly.  Lilian squealed in terror and he could hear the covers rustle as she dove under them.

Silence then.  He let it drag on for a while.  Lilian’s terrified panting slowed, became rhythmic.  Jonah was surprised, was she really asleep so quickly?  What about the night terrors?

He waited.  It was early yet, and Lilian was nothing if not predictable.  Sure enough, half an hour later she woke up screaming.  Jonah gave the bed a little shake, and Lilian’s screams stopped.  Instead, her tremulous voice asked again, “Is something under my bed?”

Jonah knew he wouldn’t be disturbed.  Their parents were beyond tired of the screaming, just as he was.  So in a soft, rustly voice he answered, “Yes.”

Lilian whimpered, pulled the sheets over her head and went very very quiet.  To Jonah’s surprise, it sounded like she was asleep again.  This wasn’t working out at all as he’d expected.

The next time Lilian started screaming, Jonah rocked the bed again.  She squeaked, but went quiet.  “There really is something under my bed this time,” she whispered.  “What do I do?  Mama won’t look again.”

“Monsters need to sleep too,” rustled Jonah.

“I can’t help it!” whimpered Lilian, her voice barely more than a whisper.  “The nightmares make me scream.”

“What nightmares?” asked the monster under her bed.

“Of being dragged under my bed by monsters under my bed.”  Lilian’s voice got stronger.  “Leave me alone!  Oh no... is this another nightmare?”

“Maybe.”

“Go away!”

“Make me.”  Jonah slithered a few tentacles out to tug at Lilian’s bedcovers.  Lilian squealed, but there was also another sound, metal on wood, that Jonah ignored.  He tugged at her bedcovers again.

Much to Jonah’s surprise, Lilian hopped out of bed.  Without thinking about it, he put his original plan into action, wrapping two tentacles around one of Lilian’s ankle and pulling.

The screaming really started then.  Lilian was alternating between, “It’s got me!” and “Die monster die!”  Something sharp and heavy was stabbing through Jonah’s tentacles, and that started him off as well.

Their father burst into the room, and slapped the lightswitch.  When he saw tentacles around his daughter’s legs, he roared in fury, and tore at them.  Jonah’s limbs were already in sad shape, and two of them were ripped apart by his father’s strong hands.  Soon he’d been dragged out from under the bed, and when it seemed like their father was going to rip the rest of his tentacles off one by one, Jonah begged, “Stop Dad!  Stop!”

“Jonah?” asked his father in a very dangerous voice.  “What the f...”  He looked over at his daughter, still trembling and clutching a bloodied pair of scissors.  “Kate, get in here.”

Lilian was bleeding from two self-inflicted wounds to her ankle, she’d stabbed her mother’s sewing scissors clean through Jonah’s tentacles in her attempts to free herself.  Once they’d been seen to (via kisses and bandages), Lilian had stopped hyperventilating.  She was still clutching the scissors.

Jonah and his father had cleaned up the rest of the mess, stuffing and fuzzy tentacle bits.  The stabbing and tearing had hurt, but once the tearing had stopped, the pain had too.  Jonah was glad his body couldn’t bleed, because from the look in his father’s eyes he wouldn’t be getting medical attention very soon.  In fact, it looked like he might need more.

“Jonah,” asked their father in a very soft voice.  “What the hell have you done?”

“I...  I got Rumi to change me in a Venn Machine.  I wanted to give Lilian a real reason to scream.  I was just so tired of it!  So tired...”  Jonah yawned a fuzzy-mouthed yawn.

To everyone’s surprise, Lilian yawned, too.  “It waz Jonah?  Oh.  S’good.”  Her head lolled back, and she was asleep in her mother’s arms.

Lilian’s mother put a finger to her lips, and glared daggers at her husband.  There was to be no yelling tonight, not if Lilian was asleep.  Kate tucked her daughter into bed, and husband and wife tiptoed out of the room.  Jonah got dragged along by two tentacles.

Once they were seated in the living room, Kate turned to her stepson.  “That was a very stupid thing you did.  She had been getting better.”

“No, ‘Mom’.  She hadn’t.  She’s still getting the nightmares.”

Both parents cursed softly under their breaths.  “I don’t know what we can do,” moaned Kate.  “It’s been months.”

“I know one thing we can do,” grated Jonah’s father.  “Jonah, you’re grounded.  We cut you slack so you could get some sleep, but if this is how we’re being rewarded...”

His tirade was interrupted by Lilian’s wail.

“God, not again,” said all three of them.

This time it was different.  “Where’s Jonah?” asked Lilian.

Puzzled, they returned to her room, Jonah in his father’s arms.  “I’m here, Llil,” he called.

“Oh, good.  Can you keep the other monsters away?” she asked, desperately.

Jonah bobbed his head.  “Yes.”

Lilian fell back into bed, already asleep.

The three of them stared down at the sleeping girl.  “That...  Really?  Well.  I guess you have a new job, Jonathan.”

“But...”

“Sorry.  You made your bed.  Now you get to sleep in it.”

“Or under it,” Kate said with a giggle.

“Fine,” groused Jonah.  “But take those d... those scissors off of her.”

Lilian woke twice more, but Jonah’s reassuring voice from under the bed put her back to sleep in moments.

In the morning, Kate peeked in on her daughter.  She was clutching one of Jonah’s tentacles in her hand, still asleep.  Kate smiled at the scene.  “Awww, how cute.”

Jonah woke, and started trying to wriggle out from under the bed.  Kate shushed him, but the noise woke Lilian, who sat up and yaaaawned hugely.

Lilian stared down at the tentacle in her hand.  “Not a dream?”

Jonah sighed.  “No.”  He tried to pull the tentacle away, but Lilian held on tight.  She hugged it.

“Thank you.”  Lilian poked at a hole in the tentacle she was holding, and saw stuffing inside.  “You’re a plushie?”

“Mostly, yeah.”

Lilian picked at the hole again.  “Does it hurt?”

“Being a plushie?  Or being changed?”

Lilian shook her head.  “No... this.”

“Ah... no, not really.  More like, uh... getting your nails trimmed.  Except a little more dramatic.”

“I’m sorry I broke you,” said Lilian softly.

Jonah sighed.  “I don’t blame you.  It was a stupid idea.”

“Yes,” said Lilian’s mother.  “Yes it was.  What the h...  What were you thinking?”

Jonah curled up into a very small ball of fluff, and didn’t answer.  Lilian petted him reassuringly.

Kate sighed.  “Breakfast?”

Lilian bounced out of bed, full of more energy than either of them had seen in months. “Breakfast!”

Jonah slumped along behind them, dragging his torn tentacles on the floor.  He curled up on his chair at the table, but didn’t eat.  At his mother’s concerned look, he shrugged and explained again that he was more plush than alive, and didn’t need to eat, or even breathe.

“Handy,” muttered his father.

“Honey,” urged Kate.  “We need to deal with this.”

“Right,” harrumphed her husband.  “But from what you said last night, Rumi is part of the problem as well.  Yes?”

Jonah mumbled, “Yes, Rumi Venned me.”

“I thought your girlfriend had better sense than that.”

“She tried to talk me out of it.,” protested Jonah half-heartedly.

“Not enough, I see.  I’ll call her parents.”

An hour later, Rumi tapped on the door and was shown into the living room.  Jonah was still a ball of fluff and tentacles, curled up on the couch beside Lilian.  Rumi sat gracefully beside him.  “What is this all about, Mr. Hayward?”

“I think you know.  Jonah has told us of your role in this mess.”

Rumi sighed and shot a half-hearted glare at her boyfriend.  “Thanks.”

“You’re not the one in trouble,” mumbled Jonah.

“That is correct.  Not in the least because Jonah’s stunt has had an unexpected side effect.  Lilian slept through the night, with Jonah under her bed protecting her from the other monsters.”

Lilian bounced on the couch. “He did a really good job!  You shouldn’t be mean to him.”

Her father sighed.  “I know.  And getting a full night’s sleep has made me much less angry about the situation than I was when it started.  Still.  Jonah, you tried to scare your sister half to death.”

“Half?” asked Jonah, but he shut up at the glares directed his way, especially Rumi’s.

Mr. Hayward turned to his daughter.  “Lilian.  Do you need protection from the monsters tonight, too?”

Lilian became very somber.  “Yes Daddy.”

“So.  In the interests of all of us getting some sleep.  Rumi, you will take Jonah to the mall tonight, and change him back to this.”

“What?” asked Rumi and Jonah, together.  Rumi looked over at her boyfriend with a slight smile teasing at her lips.  “So you’re going to be stuck like this every night?”

“But...” protested Jonah.  “You can’t make me!”

“No,” agreed his father.  “But I can make your life truly miserable if you don’t.”

That descended into a shouting match that made Lilian curl up in a ball no bigger than Jonah.  She clutched a tentacle and closed her eyes.  Rumi sighed and took one of Jonah’s other tentacles in hand.  “Stop.”

She hadn’t raised her voice, but everyone stopped and looked at her.  Rumi smiled confidently.  “Perhaps a carrot would work better than a stick?  You all want the same thing, a good night’s sleep.  How well did you sleep, Jonah?”

Jonah shrugged several of his tentacles.  “Pretty well, I guess.  Once I got used to having my fluff all over the place, anyway.”

“That shouldn’t be an issue tonight,” said Rumi confidently.  “No more stabbing my boyfriend, okay?”

Lilian nodded.  “Okay.”

“How long will you need a protector under your bed?” Rumi asked, addressing Lilian seriously.

“I don’t know,” answered Lilian softly.  “‘Til the nightmares stop.”

Rumi nodded.  “I see.  Jonah and I are on spring break for the next week, so I’ll change him for the whole week.”

“What?” asked Jonah.  “You can’t...”

Rumi held up a finger to him, and he quietened down.

“Yes, that means a month-long change.  You messed up, tentacle-boy, live with it.”

“Not seeing the carrot here,” muttered Jonah darkly.

“Jonah will sleep under Lilian’s bed at night.  And the rest of the time he gets to spend with me.  Are those terms acceptable?”

Jonah was the first to say yes.  His parents conferred briefly, then nodded.  “If he’ll hold up his part.  Hell, I’ll let you borrow the old car all week if this works.”

Rumi smiled.  “Thank you, Mr. Hayward.  I’ll take Jonah now, and be back before Lilian’s bedtime.”

Lilian gave Jonah a big hug, then reluctantly let him go.  “Byebye Mister Tentacle.”

Rumi giggled once they were out the door.  “I can’t believe they went for it!”

“I can’t believe I went for it.  I’m going to be stuck like this for a month?”

“Nah, just a week.  You’ll need to be human to go to class next Monday.  C’mon, let’s go get you patched up.”  She jingled the car keys in her hand.  “I’ll drive.  I don’t think you can reach the pedals like that.”

“Ha, ha.  Am I going to be your helpless pet all week?”

“Yes.  I’ll take very good care of you, giving you lots of love and snuggles.  And especially love.   You’re just so damn cute like this!”  She gave him an impish, speculative look.   “Do you really have to be human to attend class?”

“Rumi!”

Rumi giggled all the way to the mall, and soon enough Jonah joined in.  At the Venn Machine, they drew a small crowd when Rumi set the time for a month.  Once inside, she peered at the interface, tapping a few times to get the tentacle-thing on the screen back to an undamaged state.  “So.  You’re going to be like this for a month,” she mused.  “Is there anything you’d like to change?  Being able to eat food, for example?”

Jonah shrugged.  “Nah.  If I’m going to be stuck under Lil’s bed for ten hours, getting hungry or having to go to the bathroom would be a pain.  Can you make me a little tougher, though?  I got shredded awfully easily.”

“Mmm.  Maybe a little stronger, too,” Rumi mused as she tapped away.  “Your fluffy hugs are cute like this, but I want some beef behind them.”

“Two can play at that game, you know.”

Rumi saw tentacles flick at the interface.  “Jonah...”  She sighed.   “Nothing that’ll show too much, okay?”

Jonah chuckled softly.  “I can work with that.  Ready here.”

“Do it.”

They both tapped the green circles, and the doors opened.  Rumi patted herself down quickly before emerging to pick up her newly muscular tentacle-beast.  “Ooof.  You’re a lot heavier like this.”

“Let me down, then.  I’ve gotten good at tentacle walking, I can keep up.”

Rumi kept a hold on one of his tentacles, and side by side they strolled and wiggled around the mall.  Several times Rumi was chastised by myopic old women for having a pet in the mall, and when Jonah spoke up in his defence, their reactions made Rumi giggle like a little girl.

Unfortunately, one of them called security, and Jonah was asked to leave for making a public disturbance.  Instead of arguing the point, they left.

Rumi started the car.  “Where to now?”

Jonah grinned up at her from his perch on the passenger seat.  “Somewhere private so we can try our new bodies out.”

Rumi headed up toward a forest lane that had become their favourite makeout spot.  “I still haven’t figured out what you did to me.  Ten points for not showing, but...”

Jonah laughed.  “Oh, you’ll figure it out soon enough, Miss Tentacle-lover.”

Rumi squirmed in her seat.  “You didn’t.”

Jonah just looked as innocent as a tentaclebeast could.  Which, truth be told, wasn’t particularly innocent, even with the soft purple fur.  Despite Rumi’s increasingly eager pleas, he said no more for the rest of the trip, his grin growing wider and wider as they went.

Finally, Rumi parked and threw her seatbelt off.  “What did you do?”

Jonah unclipped his largely superfluous belt, and ran a tentacle up her leg and under her skirt.  “You’ll see.”

As his teasing got her aroused, Rumi felt a churning in her belly.  “Oh Ganesh, what did you do?  It’s...  OOOOH!”  Something pressed out between her legs, stretching and uncoiling.  A thick pink tentacle emerged from under her skirt, and Rumi stared at it in surprise.  “You...  What?”

Jonah kept teasing at her, and coiled one of his tentacles around hers.  It was slick and smooth, but not slimy.  And his teasing made it grow longer and larger.

“Where...  How?  Oh, fuck me, I don’t care.”  Rumi grabbed Jonah, pulling more of his tentacles against her.  One went down her top, and two more slipped up under her shirt to join it in playing with her breasts, which were also churning in pleasant ways.  They stretched and grew.  Rumi pulled up her shirt to free them, staring blissfully as they tangled with Jonah.

Half an hour later, a sweaty and whimpering Rumi pushed Jonah away.  “Why?  What were you thinking?”

“I’m sorry!  I wanted to keep my fur tidy, so... y’know, no fluids and spurting.  I didn’t think it’d mean you couldn’t...”

Rumi shuddered, and wrapped her arms around her cooling and shrinking tentacles.  They flattened away until they looked like perfectly normal breasts once more.  The enormous thing between her legs soon followed.  Rumi patted herself down, lowered her shirt and skirt, and checked herself out in the makeup mirror.  “That’s... wow.  Kind of handy.”  A few flicks of her comb through her short black hair, and she looked perfectly respectable.

“I can’t go to Lil’s room looking like I’ve just had sex, can I?”

Rumi sighed mournfully.  “I suppose not.  And oh, it felt sooooo good.  Like being on the brink of the biggest orgasm ever but...”  Her hips squirmed, and something poked up at her skirt.  “Eep. I’m going to have to be careful what I think about.”

Jonah laughed uproariously.  “Now you know what it’s like for us guys.”

They spent the rest of the day exploring.  Going shopping with a tentaclebeast boyfriend didn’t work out too well, as only pet stores were willing to have him about.  Rumi did find a pretty pink collar for Jonah at one of the stores, and sweet-talked him into wearing it.  She even got his name engraved on the tag.

“There,” said Rumi once it was in place.  “You look like a proper pet, not a wild beast.  Maybe the mall will let us back in?”

Jonah laughed.  “Right.  Like a little collar’s going to change anything.  Maybe if I was an assistance animal... you could put on dark glasses and pretend to be blind.”

Rumi giggled.  “Probably not.  Oh well, it’s getting time to get you home anyway.  I’ll see you tomorrow.”

A few mornings later, when Rumi arrived she found that Jonah was still in Lilian’s room, one tentacle at the tea-party table with a sock-puppet on it.

“Would you like more tea Mister Tentacle?”

Jonah shook the puppet’s head back and forth.  “No, I’m stuffed.”

Both of them giggled, and after a moment’s surprise Rumi joined in.  “I’ve come for your guest of honor, Lilian.”

“Awww.  Okay.  Will you play tea party with me later?”

“We’ll see.  Do I have to be a plush toy?”

Lilian’s eyes lit up.  “Would you?”

Rumi looked from Lilian to Jonah and saw something on her boyfriend’s fuzzy face that made her grin.  “You know, that sounds like fun.  Wait, if I’m a plushie, who’s going to drive us home?”

“I could do that,” offered Kate.

Rumi giggled.  “Will you join us for the tea party?”

“I...”  Kate looked from her daughter to the plush form of her stepson.  “I’ll see if their Dad is willing to drive.”

He grumbled about being late to work, but he was also amused at the idea of his wife becoming a plush toy for their daughter, and went along with the plan.  He scooped the resulting teddy bear and pink plush elephant out of the Venn Machine, returned them to the house, and sped off to work.

Kate was still apologizing to Rumi for turning her into a real plush animal, instead of one that could move its limbs.  Luckily, Rumi could still speak and she kept reassuring Kate that it would be fine.

Jonah laughed when he saw his girlfriend.  “A pink elephant?  Really, Kate?”

The teddy bear bristled.  “Do you have to call me that?”

“It’s your name, isn’t it?”

Rumi intervened by asking what was so funny about a pink elephant, anyway.  Kate and Jonah started laughing again, and Jonah finally explained that it was what drunk people supposedly saw when they started hallucinating.

Rumi harrumphed softly.  “So I’m your imaginary girlfriend now?”  She started to giggle.  “Cool.  I just wish I could dance around, too.”

Josh looked over at his stepmother.  “She can’t... what did you do?”

“I’m sorry!  Your father was in a rush, and we were halfway to the car before I realized.  I just turned her into a plush toy that can speak.  Not one that can, you know... move.”

Lilian was drawn by all the voices, and declared both the teddy and the elephant the “cutest things ever!”  She was completely unfazed by the fact that Miss Elephant had to be carried, and scooped her up for the trip back to her room.  Since Rumi couldn’t move, she was placed at Lilian’s right hand at the tea table, and Lilian doted on her, feeding her imaginary cookies and imaginary tea.

The conversation was playful, with Lilian making up a story about how they were all a little family.  Mama Bear was the mother, of course, and Rumi found it hilarious that she was cast as the father.  Jonah played the sullen son to perfection, and even belted out a “You’re not my mother!” tirade on cue.

Lilian shook her head.  “Mister Tentacles, you owe Mama Bear an apology.  That wasn’t very nice.”

Jonah stared at the table. “Don’t want to.”

Rumi spoke up.  “Mister Tentacles,” she said softly, “Mama Bear is trying really hard to be a good mother for you.  Why can’t you see that?”

“Not the same.”

“But how can it be? Really, look at us, we’re the most unusual family.  An elephant, a teddy bear, a mass of fuzzy tentacles, and a sweet little girl.  It can never be normal, but it can be a good family.”

Jonah sighed, fur ruffling around his mouth.  “I know.  I just... I miss her.”

“Mrs. Hayward, have you ever tried using a Venn Machine to... be his mother?” asked Rumi.

Mama Bear sighed softly.  “Once.  It was... imagine seeing your mother, with someone else’s mannerisms.”

“Oh,” said Rumi softly.

“It was horrible,” the teddy continued, “and I changed back before the kids could see.  It wouldn’t have done any good.  Even their father was creeped out by it, and never brought it up again.”

“Sorry,” apologized Rumi.

“You couldn’t know.”

“I’m sorry too,” said Jonah softly.  “I’m sorry Kate can’t be Mama.”  He sighed.  “And that’s not her... I mean your fault.”

“And?” urged Rumi.  “There’s more you should apologize for.”

Jonah shot her a dark look, and despite (or perhaps because of) her inability to move, Rumi stared him down.  “Fine.”  He stared at the tabletop, heaved a big sigh, and said, “Mom.  I’m sorry for all the times I’ve said you’re not my Mom.  It’s not fair.”

Mama Bear darted around the table and hugged him, and he hugged back with a few too many arms.  “Ooof!  Too tight!  Rumi, you made him so strong!”

“Sorry, Mama Bear.  I like him that way.”

“Rumi!” exclaimed Jonah and Mama Bear together.

“What?” asked Lilian, who hadn’t really followed much that had gone on, but had kept quiet as it had seemed important.

Rumi giggled.  “So not sorry.  Can we go back to having a nice quiet tea party now?”

“More tea?” asked Lilian.

“Please.”

The tea party carried on much more peacefully after that.  Later, Jonah made lunch for Lilian, as Mama Bear was much too short to do anything in the kitchen.

In the afternoon, they played tag and hide-and-seek through the house.  Jonah won both, handily.  Rumi was very good at hide-and-seek, mostly because Jonah would carry her and hide her in hard-to-reach places when Lilian or Mama Bear were the seeker.

Rumi and Kate returned to human in the middle of one such game, to much giggling from Lilian.  “Found you both!”

Rumi laughed, and carefully extracted herself from under the dining room table.  “You did indeed.  This was fun, thank you.”

“Are you going now?” asked Lilian.

“Stay for dinner,” added Kate.  “I should get started.”

Rumi scooped up Jonah and wrapped his tentacles around her like a shawl.  “Sure.  I can help in the kitchen if you’d like.”

Jonah clung quietly to Rumi’s back as the two women worked and chatted as if it had been a perfectly normal day.  He found himself pleased that they were getting along so well, and wishing he could find the same ease with this intruder in his life.  He’d known Kate for years, and had long since grown out of feeling angry at her for taking away his mother.  It hadn’t been Kate that was driving drunk that terrible night, after all.

Once the family plus Rumi were sitting at the table, Mr. Hayward asked how their day had been.  The grins all round the table told him plenty.  Lilian was only too happy to chatter about the tea parties and games.

“I’m glad you’re so happy, sweetie.  I was a bit worried leaving Jonah in charge, but it seems to have all worked out well.”

Rumi smiled and shot Jonah a glance.  “I think it worked out even better than that.  Jonah?  Can you say it now that she’s not a teddy bear?”

Jonah heaved a huge sigh, then nodded over his empty plate.  “I’m sorry for saying you’re not my mother all those times.  You’ve been nothing but kind, and you don’t deserve it.  You can’t be Mama, but you can be...  Mom?”

“I’ll take it,” Kate said, wiping a tear.  She set her utensils down neatly, then got up and walked around to Jonah and hugged him tight.  “Oh, honey, do we really have to keep him like this?  I feel terrible watching him not eat.”

Lilian’s eyes filled with tears.  “No more Mister Tentacle?”

“It’s OK, Mom.  Really,” protested Jonah, but it was clear his heart wasn’t in it.

Husband and wife stared at each other silently, hoping for an answer.

It was Rumi who provided it.  “There may be a way to have both,” she said slowly.  “I’ve been doing some reading about things people have done with the Venn Machines.  You can turn one person into two, and they can control both bodies.  It takes a lot of getting used to, but it could mean...”

“I’d be Mister Tentacles and Jonah at the same time?”

“Yes.  Well, assuming I can persuade the silly thing to do that.”

“Yes!” cheered Jonah.  “Dad?  Ka... I mean Mom?”

They nodded. “Go,” said his father.  “Be back soon, it’s almost Lilian’s bedtime.”

As Rumi and Jonah waited in line for the Venn Machine, he asked, “Are you sure about this?”

“No.  Making two people isn’t too hard.  But one person and one tentaclebeast?  What if your clothes turn into Mister Tentacles, and it ends up just an inert plush?  That won’t be enough for Lilian.”

“It might,” mused Jonah. “But...”

“I know!  I’ll do three tentaclebeasts.  At least one should work, right?”

Jonah chuckled.  “And if two do...”

Rumi grinned right back at him.  “I get to take one of you home with me.  Assuming my folks don’t freak out at a tentacle-boy staying with me.”

Jonah grinned back at her.  “I’m sure you’ll find some way to smuggle... hm.”

“What?” asked Rumi as Jonah’s grin got wider.  But the Venn Machine opened up in front of them, and a girl with two heads and four arms emerged from one side, to scoop up a very custom looking bra out of the other.  Rumi shook her head, and set the machine for a month.

“A month might not be long enough for Lilian,” noted Jonah as they got into their respective sides of the machine.

“We can do it again,” said Rumi.  “Or bring all of you back, and set the time longer.  Shush, I need to concentrate.”

While Rumi was very carefully muttering and prodding away at the interface, Jonah started on his own idea.  Something that wouldn’t show, otherwise Rumi’s parents would have a fit.

When he suddenly acquired a human body, Jonah stumbled, and dropped the fuzzy load of creatures that had abruptly appeared in his arms.  He also experienced the fall from two other perspectives.

“Jonah?  Are you okay?”

“I...”  Jonah’s voice sounded odd.  “I’ll manage.”  He looked up at the diminishing green dot, and by closing two sets of eyes, managed to focus enough to reach his hand toward it.

“Jonah!  What are you...”  But it was too late, the doors were opening.  Rumi stomped around to Jonah’s side of the machine.  “I feel weird.  What did you do?”

Jonah flashed her a winning grin, a little surprised that he was looking down at her.  “Something nobody else should see.  What’s up with me, for that matter?”

Rumi scooped up the tentacle beasts, and led Jonah over to the mirror near the Venn Machines.  “I had to compromise between your human part and the tentacle parts.  I got you pretty close.”

“My eyes are purple.  And I’m six inches taller than before.”  Jonah flexed his arm.  “I could get used to this.”

The tentaclebeasts squirmed in Rumi’s arms.  “Ooogh, I feel kind of squishy in the middle.  Are you sure nobody can tell?”

Jonah grinned.  “Nobody should be able to see... as long as you keep covered up.”

“What did you do?”

Jonah shook his head.  “Not here.  We need to get home for Lilian.”

On the trip home, Rumi discovered that her fears had been somewhat correct.  One of the tentaclebeasts was inert, a simple plush.  Jonah couldn’t even feel her touching its fur.  “So some of my clothes are now a plush?  That’s... pretty cool, really.  I wish we could make that one last longer, Lil will love it.”

“We’ll see,” muttered Rumi, who was still poking at her chest curiously.  She really was more squishy than she should be, it felt like with a bit more effort she could sink her entire hand into her body.

Lilian was thrilled to have her new Mister Tentacles, and a plushie version as well.  She cuddled the inert one to herself in bed, and the other crawled underneath.  “Night, Jonah.  G’night, Mister Tentacles.”

“Goodnight, Lilian,” came Jonah’s voice from under the bed.

Jonah opened his eyes.  “Okay.  One at a time is doable.  Going to take a while to learn how to do both at once.”

“Can you hear her if she cries out, though?” asked Lilian’s mother worriedly.

Jonah nodded.  “Yeah.  Trust me, that won’t be a problem.  She’s plenty loud.”

Kate winced.  “She is at that.  OK.  You two have a good time tonight.  Don’t be out too late.”

“Aww, do I still have a curfew?  I haven’t been human for days.”

His father’s glare was answer enough.  Jonah sighed, and agreed to be home at a reasonable time.  Then he darted out of the house and back to the car where Rumi was waiting, a bundle of tentacles hidden by her feet.

“Turns out you were right.  I still have a curfew.”

“You didn’t mention the third tentaclebeast, did you?”

Jonah shook his head.  “Of course not.”  He closed his eyes, and the mass of tentacles climbed up Rumi’s legs and into her lap.  From its mouth he enthused, “This is going to be fun.  As long as I remember to use the right body, anyway.”

“You’ll have to be quiet both places,” Rumi said, touching Jonah’s fuzzy lips with her finger.  He nipped at her finger, then tried to kiss it.

“Shush, you.  I still have to sneak you in.”

“About that...  Look under your top.”

Rumi looked.  “Aaagh!  Why do I have see-through boobs?”

“That’s not all that’s see-through.  C’mon, take your top off.”

Rumi covered herself up with her arms.  “No!  People could see.”

Jonah shrugged, and started the car.  Soon they were at their favourite make-out spot.  Before he could suggest it, Rumi’s top and bra were tossed aside.  From her breasts to the tops of her legs, the front half of Rumi’s body was made of pink, translucent...  “Goo?  I’m a goo girl?”

“Hybrid goo girl.  Normal arms, legs and head.  And enough torso to have strength, and normal organs.  You could even go swimming in a one-piece bathing suit and nobody would see.”

“But why goo?”

Jonah started to answer, then shook his head and closed his eyes.  “Lilian’s calling.”

The tentaclebeast in Rumi’s lap made soothing noises, said, “I’m here, I’ll keep you safe,” and lifted a single tentacle up and around.  It ended up stuck in Rumi’s left breast.  She stared down at it, then over at Jonah.

Jonah opened his eyes, to see Rumi pointing at the tentacle.  “Did you at least talk to Lilian, too?”

Jonah blushed.  “Uh... I’m pretty sure.  She said goodnight to Mister Tentacles.  It’s tricky to move just one of the tentacle guys, they both feel the same.  Well, except this one now has a sticky tentacle.”

“Yeah.”  Rumi poked at the tentacle that was still embedded in her breast.  “About that...”

“Don’t you see?” enthused Jonah.  “He can live inside you.”

“He can WHAT?”  Despite her shout, Rumi made no move to drag the tentacle out of her body.

Jonah closed his eyes, grimacing slightly as he carefully concentrated.  The tentaclebeast burrowed further into Rumi’s goo.  She squealed, but soon was moaning instead.

Rumi stared down at herself.  In addition to the pink goo, a thin-limbed tentacle thing was sitting inside her.  The goo had slicked down the fluff on the tentacles, and much like what happens to a damp cat, it looked much smaller.

Slowly, carefully, she put her clothes back on.  Her bra was a little tighter than before, but otherwise it looked passable.

“You are certifiably insane,” she muttered.

Jonah chuckled.  “Very possibly so.  But you have to admit, it’ll be much easier to sneak me into your bedroom this way.”

The tentacles inside Rumi wriggled and she groaned.  “Oh... not if you keep doing that.  I think orasming five times as I walk up the staircase might just give the game away.”

Jonah put on his best innocent look.  Without the tentacles, it worked much better.  “I’ll be good.”

Rumi growled at him.  “No you won’t.”

Jonah snickered.  “You’re right.  And that’s exactly what you want... after you’re in the privacy of your room.”

Rumi smile was everything Jonah could have hoped for.  “This is going to be a fun month.”